If you read the last post on “Tell a Man What You Want” guys, you’ll see that I am one of your best advocates.

However, let me state one important piece of information. Toward the bottom of the post I told your lady NOT to nag you.

Do you know why she nags you? Do you?

It is because you do not do what she asks of you.

• I have told her how to ask you to do things.
• I have told her why she needs to ask you to do those things in a new way.
• I even told her that she needs to keep her promises.

HOWEVER, if you do not get up off your rump the first time she asks you to do something, she will ask you again. And again. And again. (You call this nagging. She calls it ignoring.)

So, let me clear the air for you. If you do what she asks of you right away, then she doesn’t have a chance to nag. Amazing how that works.

- D

When you are driving in the car and you get directions from the Navigator that conflict with what you know to be accurate directions, what do you do?

Let me explain a little further. You are traveling to a place that you have never been before. Your Navigator happens to be your wife (or significant other) and the directions that you printed from MapQuest do not “feel” right.

Do you:

1. Listen to what the Navigator says.
2. Be the Captain and have the Navigator stand down from their duties.
3. Ignore the Navigator and use your keen intuition.

There are two ways that this can play out. Correct directions from MapQuest (seldom correct, may I add) or Incorrect directions from MapQuest.

Correct directions:

1. If you listen to the Navigator then you get there and the only tension you have is your own because you felt like you had a “better way”.
2. If you take the directions from the Navigator you arrive at your destination, you feel slightly thwarted because the directions were actually correct and your Navigator doesn’t speak to you the rest of the day and you have to sleep in the Galley because Captain’s Quarters are “off limits”.
3. You ignored the Navigator and did your own thing. You arrived at your destination but you are much later than you anticipated and the Navigator is fuming. Your Navigator doesn’t speak to you the rest of the day and you have to sleep in the Galley because Captain’s Quarters are “off limits”.

Incorrect Directions:

1. If you listen to the Navigator and you arrived at your destination but you are much later than you anticipated, the Navigator is mad at MapQuest. You may be fuming at the Navigator for the delay, but it was out of their control, but you button your lip and say nothing with the exception of agreeing that MapQuest was wrong.
2. If you take the directions from the Navigator to try and figure it out on your own. You arrived at your destination but you are much later than you anticipated and the Navigator is fuming at MapQuest and you, and you have to sleep in the Galley because Captain’s Quarters are “off limits”.
3. You ignored the Navigator and did your own thing. You arrived at your destination but you are much later than you anticipated and the Navigator is fuming at MapQuest and you, and you have to sleep in the Galley because Captain’s Quarters are “off limits”.

The problem is, you do not know if the directions are correct to begin with, so how do you win each time?

Use Yahoo! Maps. And whatever you do, listen to the Navigator. You can never go wrong.

- D

A little advice for the men who may stumble upon this post.

Over the weekend, my wife mentioned that she thought her hair was getting a little long. In another conversation she said do you think my eyebrows look bushy?

To most men, these are merely questions that require answers like, “Honey, I love your hair, no matter the length.” and “Baby, you have beautiful eyebrows.” While, at first these answers appear correct, they are not.

I know, I know. You thought you were doing good, right?

Well, what she is really saying is, “Honey, do you mind if I go to the salon to get my hair styled and eyebrows waxed?”

Your response should be the following, “Honey, I love your hair, no matter the length. Would you like for me to call the salon and get you the first available appointment?” and “Baby, you have beautiful eyebrows, should I have them wax your eyebrows, too?” Then follow up with, “Don’t worry about the bill, just take my card, then we will get dinner out, your choice.”

Nearly 99.9% of the time, this will appease your lady. The other .1% of the time, it is probably just her having her period and it wouldn’t matter what you said, because any answer would be dead wrong. Sorry. That is just the way it is.

- D

P.S. If she catches you reading this post and then you tell her the things I wrote above, everything you say will be Null and Void.

Hey guys. A little advice to you from a happily married man.

When your wife (or significant other) seems a little down, do your best to make her day.

Examples of ways to put a smile on her face.

1. Bring her flowers. Even if she says that they will just die, nothing says I’m thinking about you than a bouquet of fresh flowers. (They do not even have to be roses. But know your woman, if she loathes pansies, do not get pansies!)
2. Give her the day off and/or day out. If she likes getting her nails done (fingers and toes) let her do it. Chances are she pampers you (and you may not even realize it) so let her pamper herself.
3. If your lady is introverted, like mine, and she feels good about herself when she gets her eyebrows or hair done or go to the tanning salon, etc. let her go. Make it one better and tell her you will take care of the cost!
4. If she is with her friend(s) or even by herself, watch the kids, even if they are not yours. Tell them to have fun! Then take the kiddies to the park, on a hike, for a movie or some other fun kiddy adventure for at least two to three hours so that the ladies can decompress in their own way.
5. Find a way to give your honey a mini-vacation. Ask someone you trust to watch the little ones so the two of you can go off to a hotel, the beach, camping, whatever where it is just the two of you. Leave on a Friday after work and come back Sunday afternoon. Visit a quaint little church or another in your own town to mix it up a little. The change can be refreshing and exciting.

The only way to make these suggestions work is if you know your special lady. Let her be the center of your attention. Do this at least once a month. You do not have to splurge big, but you should splurge enough for it to be special to her.

Have fun!

-D

It was 9 am on a Saturday morning. My wife, her BFF (Heather), my son (Kaleb) and I are sitting on Heather’s front porch drinking our morning jolt of caffeine and conversing about what we were going to do today.

My son is such a man with his hands down his pants. Heather said, “Get your hands out of your pants, it is not going anywhere. It’s a complex you men have.”

To which he replied, “Girls have Thingys, too.”

I guess to experience the whole story you have to know that my wife and I debated what to call the male and female body parts ever since my son was born. Because we were never able to give “them” names that were age appropriate, we just called it a “thingy“.

Then, I said, “No. Girls do not have Thingys.”

Kaleb replied, “Uhn ha. Let me see!”

Now, how do you explain the differences in anatomy to a curious five year old?

This is what stumbled out of my mouth, not that I endorse this explanation, nor do I know if this is the correct way to handle the situation properly, but it is what came out. So I suppose I have to live with the err of my morning mind and lack of caffeine coursing through my blood.

“Kaleb,” I blurted, “boys have ‘outies‘ and girls have ‘innies‘.”

To my surprise, Kaleb asked, “Oh, like when they are scared?”

We could not contain our laughter. For the next few moments the tears poured out.

When the laughter calmed down, I said, “No. they are ‘innies‘ all the time.”

Then he continued, “Why?”

Oh, that I could turn the clock back and replay this scenario in a much more eloquent way. I could have said, “Don’t worry about that, yet.” or “When you are old enough to understand, I will tell you about it.” or “Let’s ask Pastor Myron.”

Any of those responses would have been good.

But being the Christian and the wannabe scientist rolled into one, I responded with a retort, “Well, you see when a baby is growing in a mommy’s belly, God makes the baby either a girl or boy. If He wants the baby to be a girl, then she gets an ‘innie’. If He wants the baby to be a boy, he gets an ‘outie’.”

To my elation, this was enough to satisfy my son’s curiosity on the topic.

To give further background, we have found that the “Why” questions stop when we say, “Because God said so.” or “Because God made it that way.”

An example of this was recently when Kaleb asked why it rains. I told him all about the water cycle. (I know, this explanation of evaporation, condensation and precipitation is a little over his head, but I do not want to talk down to him. After all, he is an adult in training.)

He then repeats his question. Then I said, “Because God wanted to make it rain.”

Then I get the sweetest reply, “Oh, ’cause God said so. Like when you say, ‘Daddy says so?’”

Do you know that children bring the greatest pleasures in life. You just cannot help but smile.

Today is a day that the Lord made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it! – Psalm 118:24

- D

This isn’t advice for me anymore. I am happily married. Although, it is still advice I use when I am with my wife. This is why I have so many lady friends who are comfortable talking to me.

Are Looks The Key? No.

As, my description says, “I am a masculine man who is comfortable with my better feminine qualities. The best of both worlds collided together into one super sensitive, emotional, yet a ruggedly handsome male.” This description does fit me.

I am not uber cute like Brad Pitt
,
Quarky cute like Tom Cruise
,
Classic handsome like Sean Connery

Or even sexy cute like Antonio Sabato Jr.


I am just a regular guy with regular looks.

So if you are just an average Joe, Bill or John, like me, what makes you attractive? The answer my friend is “communication”.

Huh?

Yes, that’s right, “COMMUNICATION”. Talking but most important, listening to what the opposite sex has to say and responding.

Most women, do not care so much about looks. Yes, they care if you look nice.

Here are 10 Tips

1. Shave or trim the facial hair, “Wildman” is not “in”
2. Dress decently (notice, I did not say suit and tie), just not like you wadded them into a ball then compacted by a car crusher
3. Shower or take a bath, nothing is worse than a guy who smells like he just pulled two double-headers in a row then ran ten miles through raw sewage
4. Compliment her, you do not have to be mushy about it, but show her you like her. You could say something like, “I just love the way your face lights up in the sun/moon.”
5. Regardless of what you may think, or what the feminist movement has taught you, chivelry IS NOT DEAD. Open her car door, open any door.
6. Listen to her. Talk to her. Women like to communicate.
7. When you are listening to her let your eyes travel from one eye to the other then to her mouth and back to her eye you started with (kind of a triangle shape). Do not do it fast but just casually.
8. Do not stare below her neck line!!! She is not a piece of meat.
9. Get acquainted with her first. She is more likely to trust someone she is familiar with. Then make friends with one of her friends. Her friend will put in a good word for you.
10. Be yourself. Pretending to be someone you are not is lying, that is no way to win someone’s trust.
11. Bonus Tip 1: Do not think that every woman loves sports as much as you do. Chances are that she has a much broader spectrum of conversation topics than how your favorite team is stacking up against their next opponent.
12. Bonus Tip 2: Catchy pick up lines are out.

So, if you can follow a few tips, you should be on your way to being more attractive to the Ladies out there.

Oh and by the way, don’t play the dating game, either. If you are “on the prowl” you look like you are “on the prowl”.

- D

Today has been rough. I am not going to go into all the sordid details of my day, but I’ll give you an idea of what’s happening. It started late last night and continued through about 10 minutes ago.

The short of it is a friend’s dad is very ill, another friend is upset (I do not know that story, yet), another friend thinks I hate her because I failed to return an e-mail eons ago (JM – I love you, really!), a client is upset, a financial crisis hit, after 2 months of waiting my son still doesn’t have health insurance, I have piles of paperwork that is filling my desk, it’s too darn hot in my office, my cat scoops his food out of his bowl and decorates the floor with it, my wife is in a tizzy, her mouth is in pain cause I haven’t taken her to the dentist, my son is acting like he got sugar injections every half hour for the last week and it is all starting to kick in, let’s see…is there anything else?…Probably. But for now, isn’t that enough?!

On the lighter side, my dog, Sydnie, sits at my side to reassure me that all is well, because I am here.

It is this kind of thinking that I have missed in the stress of my day. My dog loves and treats me like I need to love and treat others; with quiet empathy, utmost love and adoration. MAN, did I miss the mark today! So, to those I’ve wronged, I love you I didn’t mean to hurt you. To those who are in pain, my heart goes out to you. To those I’ve neglected, I’m here. To those in financial troubles, do not worry, tomorrow takes care of itself. To those who have organization skills, I need you. To everyone, hug a neck of someone you love right now!!!!! You never know if you will ever see or talk to them again.

I am getting ready to take some time off, visit a friend, hug my son, cuddle with my wife and hopefully blow off some steam in the process. Wish me luck!

-D

P.S. I was serious about the hugging thing. Go do it, now.